September 9: A Brief History

It was a Sunday afternoon- September 9th, 2012 to be exact, and I had been invited to attend my friend’s baby shower. I was nervous to say the least because I didn’t know anyone there, but I encouraged myself to get out of my comfort zone and meet new people. The house was full of so many new faces, and I scanned the room to see who I could possibly navigate towards to spark some kind of conversation. I spotted a young gal with colorful hair and thought to myself “she looks cool! I’ll talk to her”, and so I plopped my tush on the chair next to her. We engaged in conversation, and out of nowhere came this photographer chick. She walked to where I was seated and smilingly said “hey, I have a hole in my sweater! I’m Katie!”, and she poked her finger through the hole. I died of laughter, and thought to myself “Whoa, who is this?!”

There was something so different about her. Her aura instantly attracted me, and I knew that I needed to have this person in my life in some capacity. Now, I’ll be honest and say that there was no intention of anything more than a friendship when I met Katie. I knew I wanted to form a bond with her because she was unlike anybody I had ever met in my entire life.

 Katie and I chatted the entire night, and before leaving the baby shower I asked her for her number. We went out for pupusas later that week, and our adventure ended at the mall as I searched for a pair of Jordan’s. It was a great time full of vulnerability, honesty, endless stories, singing and laughter. That was the beginning of a life-changing friendship. 

 As friends, Katie and I always celebrated this day. It became known as our “friendiversary”, and every year we would do something together to commemorate the day our lives changed for good. On July 24, 2014, after many conversations, the three of us mutually decided to move towards a polyamorous V dynamic, meaning Katie and I were one relationship, and Katie and Luis were another, while Luis and I maintained a deep and meaningful friendship. Katie and I went on our first “out date” as girlfriends that day, and little did we know that exactly one year into our relationship would Lukas be born. As we sat in the hospital awaiting the arrival of our little guy  on our one year anniversary, we decided that September 9th would be our celebratory day because we wanted July 24 to be all about Lukas.

Typically, every September 9th is focused on Katie and me, but this year’s celebration was a little different being that Louie, Katie and I have been a throuple since 2017. Since our bond has deepened in such meaningful and beautiful ways this past year, we decided to kick off our celebration with brunch and pedis, and then reconvene in the afternoon to spend the rest of the day as a family. Although this was the day Katie and I met, we wouldn’t be the family we are today had we not crossed paths.

As I reflect on these past 7 years of knowing Katie and Louie, I am reminded of the questionable and painful moments we’ve had together, the long road trips where we blasted the music or just talked for hours, the tears of sadness and joy, the long hugs, the sweet kisses, the sad goodbyes, and the endless amounts of laughter. I savor the memories of the times we slept in the car together because sleeping uncomfortably in a car together was better than saying goodbye.

I think of the hard conversations that have led to breakthroughs, the many family vacations, tons of new restaurants we’ve tried, holding Lukas for the first time, and being present for each of his milestones. I’m also reminded of the old friendships we’ve lost and the new ones we’ve gained because had that not happened then we wouldn’t have learned to lean on each other in deeper ways than before.

The three of us have grown in so many ways over these past seven years, and I am so grateful that we’ve done it together. If every heartbreak led me to meeting these two individuals I am completely in love with, then it was all worth it. Friends, I’ll end with this. As a teenager I would always pray and speak into the Universe exactly what I wanted in my life partner. The beautiful thing is that she heard me, and not only gave me one but two humans who are exactly what I spoke into existence. They love every flaw, perfection, strength and weakness that I have, and that love is reciprocated right back to them. Happy 7 years, and here’s to a lifetime of adventures, love, learning and happiness!

 Xo,

Raq