Chasing Waterfalls
Hey fam! To be honest, I’ve kinda been avoiding this one just because I know it’ll trigger some tears. Just when we felt like we had finally settled in with our new COVID norm, our world shook yet again. Mom’s health was never 100%, and at the beginning of March she was hospitalized. While there, we were unable to visit her. This was an ongoing trend for the next few months. She continued back and forth between the hospital and nursing home all while she was unable to receive visitors due to COVID. Fast forward to June, and she was admitted into in-home hospice services. We decided we would tend to her last days here at home, but before transporting her to our home, Luis , who hadn’t fully come out to his mom yet, decided to tell her about our dynamic. To our surprise she was unphased. She said that she loved us, and that this was our life to live.
Once she moved in, we settled into our new in-home hospice arrangement and the changes it made to our day-to-day lives. Every morning Lukas would jump in bed with her and show her all his cars, and we often sang her favorite songs just to see her smile. While we knew mom wouldn’t be here for much longer, it still hurt to lose her. Before her passing, we all got to say what we needed to say. When we mentioned that our parents won’t speak to us because of our dynamic she said: “Oh, c’mon! Life is too short to be treating people you love like that”. Mama Simbala accepted our dynamic, and saw the love that we shared. On July 26 she passed away in her family home surrounded by her loved ones- she earned her angel wings.
Grieving isn’t linear, and so we’ve had our good days and our really tough days, with Luis taking it the hardest. While we know she is always with us and nudging us with love, peace, and strength, there’s still a feeling of emptiness that can kick in just at the thought of her no longer physically being here with us. It’s an incredibly sad feeling knowing that the one parent who did accept our family dynamic is now gone. She isn’t physically here to affirm and love on us when our other parents are hurtful and cruel.
But, it’s also a beautiful thing knowing that she now walks alongside us with the rest of our angels and ancestors helping us heal and evolve, and that helps us feel even closer to her.
A few days after her burial ceremony, Louie had a panic attack early one morning. Katie and I decided to plan a much needed, last minute, mini-getaway. We wanted to make sure we went somewhere that was away from lots of people because ya know, COVID. After much searching we booked our trip to Niagara Falls, New York. We packed our bags that night, and left early the next morning. It was just us 4 getting away from everything, and it felt so good. I don’t know about you guys but road trips are such a vibe, and I’m so glad we decided to go with that idea.
When we planned to go somewhere that didn’t have a lot of people due to COVID, we didn’t expect to vacation in a very desolate area, but hey, the less people the better. The state park was pretty empty, which meant there were barely any wait times for the attractions, and truthfully, it felt less exhausting because there were less people. We wanted this trip to be super relaxing and fun, and that’s just what it was.
Day 1: Maid of the Mist Boat Tour
We started off the day on the Maid of the Mist boat tour. We put on our ponchos, hopped on the boat, and saw so many magical rainbows. There’s something about being in the middle of the falls surrounded by the crashing water, the mist, and the rainbows that leaves you in awe.
Day 2: Cave of the Winds & Heli Ride
WOW. It is so intensely powerful experiencing the waterfalls up close in person like that. While on this excursion, we were able to touch the waterfall, and boy do you feel Earth’s energy through the roars of her heavy amounts of water that fall at such a fast speed. Feeling her mist spray onto my face while standing there with arms wide open in freedom was refreshing, and teaching Lukas to connect with Earth and her energy while taking deep breaths was such a sweet bonding moment. To top it off, it was so empty we literally had the entire experience to ourselves, which made for great photos ;)
Afterwards, we decided to ride on a helicopter over the falls. Helicopter rides sound fun and fancy, but it was trippy AF. I sat in the front and kept thinking the helicopter was going to explode and that we’d fall into the water LOL, and Luis was getting nauseous in the back. While the views were amazing, I think we were all happy that it was a quick 10 minute ride.
The day ended at Devil’s Hole State Park for some sunset photos.
We trekked home the next morning, but not without stopping in Rochester to visit one of Katie’s mentors. We chatted, laughed, ate and Lukas got to release lots of energy with his new friends before the 7 hour drive back. Time passed so quickly, and we didn’t want to leave. We left back home feeling like those three days were just what we needed. Friends, this trip was complete medicine to the soul. There’s something about being in the wonder of nature and connecting to the Oneness of all life that just soothes and grounds. It seems like the world at large is experiencing a collective painful process. I know we’re not alone in feeling the heaviness that the societal, emotional, mental and physical unrest these past few months have brought on all of us. So if you can, try and find some ways to reset, recharge and ground. Be kind to yourself. You are going to be ok. Sending you all love, and as always, thanks for reading!
Xo,
The Simbalas
P.S.
We want to express our DEEPEST gratitude for all the contributions that were made to help us fund our mama’s burial ceremony. You have no idea how much it blessed our lives, and we couldn’t have done it without you all…THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
